For most of us, as we go through the every day, nitty gritty of our lives, death feels like just an abstraction. So, when it occurs around us, were likely to be caught off-guard. Being a officiant, you can't let that occur.
How would you feel if some friend or someone close to you dies and you are asked to do the ceremony? Would you give up that responsibility, just because you're fearful about having not ever been the minister for one and don't know what to say? As a minister, it will be expected of you that you know how to do this.
Several years back, I became aware of this so I started developing funeral and memorial services. I contacted mortuaries, where I was told, among other things, that there is a definite need for ministers to perform non-denominational ceremonies. I made a decision to add performing memorial services and include that with my wedding ministry, so I began putting together a memorial ceremony for the occasion.
The most difficult parts for me had been combating the possible fear of the way I would feel regarding being near a corpse and trying to figure out what it was I was going to say at the service. Until the time of my initial memorial service, I'd never even been in attendance at a funeral, let alone seen a dead body. You should know, from the get-go, that a dead body looks a great deal like a wax dummy. Not the least bit scary. It rapidly becomes obvious the spirit has already departed leaving behind nothing but an empty shell.
As for the words to say, I not long after discovered that there's not much written for funeral ceremonies and virtually nothing at all available for ministers who wish to perform at them. What reverends need are the right words to say, like they have for weddings. I did , after much searching, locate a single ceremony written by someone for a mainstream religion as well as one from a different non-denominational religion. Neither one was quite the message I wanted to put across, but it pointed me in the right direction. I then wrote a few books which do include several pages of choices for the various separate parts of the ceremony. Those books are Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage and its sequel, More Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage. These both are available via the Universal Life Church Seminary store.
I open my services with a welcome message and a thank you on behalf of the family for their attendance. Then, I start to share about how come we're there for the celebration of the life of a friend they have loved. I invite everyone to send their love to the newly departed, while I lead everyone in prayer. I share a bit about life and death along with what wed learned from the deceased in his or time time with us. Then, I start the eulogy. (I made a standard opening for the eulogy, then I begin filling it in with the information as well as stories I get from the grieving before the service.)
I also usually include some biographical information in the starting of the eulogy, which reminds everyone that the deceased had been both a member of the family or group yet was still, an individual. I usually then talk regarding the importance of reminiscing fondly about the deceased|stand up and share stories and invite people to say a few words. It's not unusual to have nobody speak at the ceremony, but sometimes individuals will stand up if it is left open to them.
At this part of the ceremony, there's more space for individuality. I enjoy singing or leading people in 'Amazing Grace' during memorial services. Not everyone is comfortable initiating that, but there still can be space for a musical introduction. Just be sure the funeral director is aware whether a tape or CD is to be played. They generally already do. A candle-lighting ceremony, some scripture, or reading of some selected poems may be done next. The service frequently finishes with a prayer as well as a benediction.
If the body is likely to become interred (buried), then I follow the family to the graveside (unless the memorial took place there), and say some words of bible passages, the Lord's Prayer, plus the section regarding the interment - (giving the physical remains from whence it came, etc.) I don't always do the service in that order; I will readily change it, as the circumstances dictate. It is good to be prepared for anything.
I have discovered that funeral services are an outstanding place to help others, learn about myself and other people better, and to heal their grief. One essential issue to keep in mind when you're performing the service is that it's essential for you, as the officiant, reign in your own personal emotions. There is going to be a good deal of individuals around you sitting in emotional discomfort and grief. It's not your place to match them. It's your job to keep yourself a bit distant and show your compassion, yet still be strong, to give space for the bereaved to lean on you and For the duration of your time there, you, the minister, become the bringer of hope and peace to the grieving, so it is crucial that you give them the complete freedom to open up and share their feelings.
ULC ministers are less likely to preside over funeral services held in churches because the local pastor would be involved and would certainly hold the ceremony.
KEEP IN MIND that there is no 1 way to conduct a memorial service. Not all funerals are religiously-focused and the clergy-person should arrive ready to present a non-religious ceremony without having references to The Divine Force or any particular belief system. The family knows what their beliefs are and the beliefs of the deceased and those beliefs must be honored.
The funeral is intended for the grieving more so than than the deceased. The clergy-person is there to be the professional, responsible for conducting the rites requested to assist the deceased into the arms of a loving God.
If you are needing a basic script of things to say at a funeral, the Universal Life Church Seminary has made 2 books available which have everything you need and/or you may also have the option of having them emailed to you if the service is scheduled to occur on short notice|scheduled in a brief time. Its a good idea to show up ready though and each clergy-person really should have a copy of Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage, as well as the sequel, More Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage.
How would you feel if some friend or someone close to you dies and you are asked to do the ceremony? Would you give up that responsibility, just because you're fearful about having not ever been the minister for one and don't know what to say? As a minister, it will be expected of you that you know how to do this.
Several years back, I became aware of this so I started developing funeral and memorial services. I contacted mortuaries, where I was told, among other things, that there is a definite need for ministers to perform non-denominational ceremonies. I made a decision to add performing memorial services and include that with my wedding ministry, so I began putting together a memorial ceremony for the occasion.
The most difficult parts for me had been combating the possible fear of the way I would feel regarding being near a corpse and trying to figure out what it was I was going to say at the service. Until the time of my initial memorial service, I'd never even been in attendance at a funeral, let alone seen a dead body. You should know, from the get-go, that a dead body looks a great deal like a wax dummy. Not the least bit scary. It rapidly becomes obvious the spirit has already departed leaving behind nothing but an empty shell.
As for the words to say, I not long after discovered that there's not much written for funeral ceremonies and virtually nothing at all available for ministers who wish to perform at them. What reverends need are the right words to say, like they have for weddings. I did , after much searching, locate a single ceremony written by someone for a mainstream religion as well as one from a different non-denominational religion. Neither one was quite the message I wanted to put across, but it pointed me in the right direction. I then wrote a few books which do include several pages of choices for the various separate parts of the ceremony. Those books are Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage and its sequel, More Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage. These both are available via the Universal Life Church Seminary store.
I open my services with a welcome message and a thank you on behalf of the family for their attendance. Then, I start to share about how come we're there for the celebration of the life of a friend they have loved. I invite everyone to send their love to the newly departed, while I lead everyone in prayer. I share a bit about life and death along with what wed learned from the deceased in his or time time with us. Then, I start the eulogy. (I made a standard opening for the eulogy, then I begin filling it in with the information as well as stories I get from the grieving before the service.)
I also usually include some biographical information in the starting of the eulogy, which reminds everyone that the deceased had been both a member of the family or group yet was still, an individual. I usually then talk regarding the importance of reminiscing fondly about the deceased|stand up and share stories and invite people to say a few words. It's not unusual to have nobody speak at the ceremony, but sometimes individuals will stand up if it is left open to them.
At this part of the ceremony, there's more space for individuality. I enjoy singing or leading people in 'Amazing Grace' during memorial services. Not everyone is comfortable initiating that, but there still can be space for a musical introduction. Just be sure the funeral director is aware whether a tape or CD is to be played. They generally already do. A candle-lighting ceremony, some scripture, or reading of some selected poems may be done next. The service frequently finishes with a prayer as well as a benediction.
If the body is likely to become interred (buried), then I follow the family to the graveside (unless the memorial took place there), and say some words of bible passages, the Lord's Prayer, plus the section regarding the interment - (giving the physical remains from whence it came, etc.) I don't always do the service in that order; I will readily change it, as the circumstances dictate. It is good to be prepared for anything.
I have discovered that funeral services are an outstanding place to help others, learn about myself and other people better, and to heal their grief. One essential issue to keep in mind when you're performing the service is that it's essential for you, as the officiant, reign in your own personal emotions. There is going to be a good deal of individuals around you sitting in emotional discomfort and grief. It's not your place to match them. It's your job to keep yourself a bit distant and show your compassion, yet still be strong, to give space for the bereaved to lean on you and For the duration of your time there, you, the minister, become the bringer of hope and peace to the grieving, so it is crucial that you give them the complete freedom to open up and share their feelings.
ULC ministers are less likely to preside over funeral services held in churches because the local pastor would be involved and would certainly hold the ceremony.
KEEP IN MIND that there is no 1 way to conduct a memorial service. Not all funerals are religiously-focused and the clergy-person should arrive ready to present a non-religious ceremony without having references to The Divine Force or any particular belief system. The family knows what their beliefs are and the beliefs of the deceased and those beliefs must be honored.
The funeral is intended for the grieving more so than than the deceased. The clergy-person is there to be the professional, responsible for conducting the rites requested to assist the deceased into the arms of a loving God.
If you are needing a basic script of things to say at a funeral, the Universal Life Church Seminary has made 2 books available which have everything you need and/or you may also have the option of having them emailed to you if the service is scheduled to occur on short notice|scheduled in a brief time. Its a good idea to show up ready though and each clergy-person really should have a copy of Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage, as well as the sequel, More Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage.
Guidance On The Best Way To Conduct A Memorial Service